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Thursday, July 24th, 2003
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10:13 am - I am still alive
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ok, so i haven't posted all summer, i am sorry. At my house we had iland which is the slowest internet connection ever and i am so impatiant. We now have DSL which is much better. I have been working at Perkin's all summer and having a blast there. I have also almost moved into my apartment in Warrensburg. My brother is coming home on the 28th from texas. He has a wedding to go to in Kansas city and his birthday is the 31st so were gonna celebrate. He got orders to go to Eygpt for some international training thingy. Not really sure what it is.
I have to go mow the lawn and finish packing stuff to be moved. Yesterday i went to Kansas city to shop with my mom and a friend Sarah and it was so nice because we went to World Market and other places not in the mall. we were in the city all day and we only spent about 2 hours in the mall, soo nice. i hate the mall
i have some good news. I am coming to ST Louis....but i don't know when. the assholes at work won't let us ask off any time during the missouri state fair which starts a week from today and usually last for 2 weeks and then my classes start on the 20th. so hopefully i will have a couple of days of in between and i will be able to come up for a few days.
well that's all for now. cathy i will call you sometime in the next week or so when i find out more about st. louis
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| Monday, May 12th, 2003
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4:12 pm - Women's College World Series!!!
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Today i called home to make sure my mom and dad knew what to bring me in order to get me home and afterwards i was just sitting there talking with my mom and she was like um the world series that you wanted to go to is on the weekend that your brother is coming home and we can go during the week if you want. I was like hell yeah, so it looks as if i am getting to go to oklahoma and witness another women's college world series.... score!!!!
current mood:  excited
current music: nothing
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| Friday, May 9th, 2003
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9:37 pm - bored out of my mind
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i am incredibly bored. I can't even explain it. I am almost done with finals, i have one more and it is at 9:30 on tuesday morning. saturday, sunday and monday i have nothing to do. i can pack but i don't want to get ahead of myself and not have anything to do while i wait for my parents to get here at 3 on tuesday. grrr.....why does kirksville have to be so boring. warrensburg isn't that much different, why do i think it is going to be better there? but i long for it, freedom from this hell hold. for real truman sucks ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trying to sell books back is almost pointless. i mean i got 18 dollars for a brand new trig book w/ the cd that came with it!!! i bought it for 45 or 50 freakin dollars. what the hell. worst of all, i couldn't sell my chem book back, i am going to burn it, it will be grand!!!!! i will make a flyer with Dr. clarks name on it and watch it burn. oh yes, i can see it now.
ok, ok so that was a bit harsh but it felt good saying it.
cathy and i are going to go have a girly night now. bye bye
current mood:  anxious
current music: punk'd
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| Wednesday, May 7th, 2003
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8:07 pm - student film
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cathy and i went to see a student film tonight, it was quite entertaining. I am sure she will post more about it later, I just wanted to say that i wish i had known about the film maker's club, because i may have joined it.
anyway...back to studying
current mood: amused
current music: dr. theo clark is an ASS!!!!
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4:10 pm - Finals are killing me!!
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I am studying for my World Civilization final that i have to take tomorrow at 9:30. I am about to go crazy, enough about fascism, stalinism, world war 2, Hitler and the cold war!!!
Wish me luck though, this is one of the only classes i will get a decent grade in if i do fairly well on this test.
current mood:  determined
current music: cathy's typing
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12:23 pm
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Finals have officially started. Today is Reading day meaning we have a break between classes and finally so we can study. during finals week quiet hours are 24/7, really the only time that isn't quiet hours are 2 hours weekends days and saturday and sunday from 6-8 and fridays 6-10 otherwise our doors have to be closed and we always have to be quiet.
Last year i guess they were refering to quiet hours as dead hours and when we were at the observatory last night, on our way back the guys that were with us was talking about dead hours and the girls were like "um...don't call it that, last year someone died during quiet hours." I was like What! I dunno that just creeped me out. I don't know who, where, when, and how it happened. creepy.
current mood:  curious
current music: the sun is singing and the birds are shinning
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12:02 am
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tonight cathy and I and a few others from Dobson Hall went to the observatory on the campus farm and looked at the stars. It was sooooo cool. I love stars and planets and all that jazz. I got to see Saturn through a great big telescope, it was so fake. It looked like a sticker on the lens. so very amusing. Jupiter was cool too. I actually saw about 3 of the 30 moons that orbit Jupiter plus the clouds around it. The mom was the best because it is so close you can see more detail. i can't even describe it. it seemed like i could just reach up and touch it.
On the 16th there is going to be a lunar eclipse, so i am so excited that i will get to see it.
All i want to do right now, is go outside and find a nice place and look at the stars until i fall asleep. it seems so nice and it's not cold or hot outside, it's so very pleasant. i think i will do that when i go home. i have a big yard, so no one will bother me.
current mood:  drained
current music: nothing, the sounds of night
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| Sunday, May 4th, 2003
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9:45 pm
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on our way home cathy and i were minding our own business and of course talking about cute boys. occasionally people would pass us and we wouldn't think anything about it. Well, i looked back and this car looked like it was going to pass me so i got back into the right lane and he followed me. just kidding i told cathy that this person was following us. he was behind us for a while. then he decided to pass us. HE WAS HOT!!!! not just hot, i mean HOTT!!!! both cathy and i almost lost it. we had him in sight for a while and then a stupid trucker cut us off and took for ever to pass a mini van so we lost him. We were on our way to the warrenton outlet mall, and i mentioned that it would be awesome if he ended up going to the mall too. we both knew this wouldn't happen, but when we got of the exit we ended up behind him. at first we didn't believe it but i had the chance to get next to him so i did and it was him. hotness himself. so good. then i realized i was in the wrong lane, so i had to get over and he let us in. he's so nice. the funniest thing about it was that i didn't actually had to get over, i was actually in the correct lane and i was supposed to turn but i was so interested in the driver of the green caviler i didn't actually hear cathy say that i was supposed to turn and if i did i simple ignored it so i could see hotness one last time... oh how i will dream of him tonight!!!
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1:34 pm - last night
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ok, so i went with cathy to the two cent tip show. it was great! I finally got to meet all of cathy's friends. I feel sooooo loved when i am with them. I bought a two cent tip hat and i am going to sport it around truman campus until I leave there forever!!!!!! we later went to jared and edward's dorm and watched teenage mutant ninja turtles, and then later evil dead 1. the funny thing about this is pretty much anyone who will read this was with me when this all went down. so anyway you pretty much know what happened. gotta go eat lunch.
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| Saturday, April 26th, 2003
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5:25 pm
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went to columbia again. it was a lot of fun. I drank but not enough to make a difference. I still had fun. Cathy and i came back to kirksville today, that was sad but it won't be long and i will be out of here. I am getting a cold, it sucks, i keep sneezing and coughing and my throat feels like it is swollen. well, i am going to go get in bed and try to rest.
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| Thursday, April 24th, 2003
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10:19 pm
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so...tomorrow cathy and i get to go to columbia and visit katie! I cannot wait. I am so tired of being here. I am ready for the summer. I talked to my mom today and i was telling her that all i want to do is sleep. Like cathy said, sleep away the next couple of weeks and then wake up to go home. That's all i think about. Home. She asked me if i was depressed or something, i'm not i am just in a place that makes me feel sad and unwanted.
i need a job too. i need money. my own money. i am tired of always needing money from my parents. my dad said that i can work on the farm again this summer but really i would rather have another job to put on my resume other than working on a farm or in a school as a custodian aid. I have applied to Blockbuster and Applebee's. I dont' think either of them are hiring people now. hopefully in a few weeks when i go home they will need me. I think i am also going to apply to Hallmark. I really don't want to work at Walmart or Kmart or in fast food. they are my last resort, but if i have to i have to.
i took a 3 hour long nap today and i think i am getting tired again. what's the deal. my throat hurts too. i hope i am not getting sick.
I am done for now.....later
current mood:  blank
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| Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
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10:09 am
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ok, so i have only 3 weeks of school left. I can't wait till this summer. I will be working a shit load this summer though because i will be living in an apartment next year and i feel the need to help my parents pay for it. Also, i am so excited for next year. I am more excited for next year than i was for even coming to college. isn't that weird. I find it odd.
current mood: content
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| Sunday, April 20th, 2003
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9:08 pm - i am so bored
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i love my little town, but when your friends are out of town or too busy to see you and you have to spend the whole weekend at home, it can get a bit boring. Yeah, that's what i did all weekend, it sucked. I liked being with my family but so much can do a person in. oh well, it was good to be home, but this summer better be better. i did buy a bed so i will be able to sleep next year when i move into my apartment, much excitement
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| Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
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4:37 pm
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grrrr the stupid labs in our resident halls suck ass!!!! i have a diet analysis lab that i have to do, and i have to use the campus computers because i dont' have the program. none of them work!!! or maybe it's just me. anyway, it's due tomorrow and i want to watch the blues game and go to bed early so i will be well rested for my long night with friends tomorrow night! i am going home and it's about god damn time!!!
current mood:  angry
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| Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
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2:17 pm
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spring fever has hit hard. I don't want to go to any of my classes, all i want to do is go home and get started on my summer activities. School at truman sucks, it really sucks. All i can think of is going to CMSU next year. I am so excited. I have been looking up different activities i want to be involved in and what i want to be apart of. it's really exciting to me. I can't wait until easter break! 2 days!!!!
current mood: anxious
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2003
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4:55 pm
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ok, i went to Warrensburg to stay with my boyfried because the next day i had to enroll at cmsu. Well, around 9:30 or 10 we started arguing, we ALWAYS argue now. Well... not anymore, as of last night at 10 i am a single girl. yeah, it broke my heart and i cried a lot, i am still crying today. it will get better, i know it will, it has too. All i can say about this whole thing, is that it is about time, I think we both saw it coming but didn't know when it was going to happen. i was actually surprise to his reaction, it was much like mine minus the tears. we still love each other and we'll still hang out but at least we still have our friendship and we won't fight anymore. his friendship means the most,
that's it, i'm finished
current mood: blank
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| Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
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5:29 pm
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I get into chemistry today and it's true we have a take home test. At the very beginning of class he hads out the test. There are 7 questions that are essay form but has like 4 parts to each of them. As I looked over it I thought "hey, this looks easy" not the case. extremely difficult, i must say. it is due in 24 hours and we get to work with others in the class, which is cool, but it still seems hard.
anyway...I called brian up last night and asked him if he was happy with being with me. He was like yes, i love you, I know this, i love him too. I have been thinking lately and it seems like we argue so much and i asked him about it and he was like "yeah we do" so...and that was it, he said nothing about trying to change anything. I go out and meet new people and he always get jealous. that bothers me because he can have new friends and i can't. yes, most of my friends are guys, but i love him so he shouldn't feel threatened. I went on to tell him all the things he does that bothers me and left it at that, i pissed him off royally. by then i was so upset by him being mad that i didn't mention other things. so now he feels like it is complete his fault that i am unhappy. I figured out today that that's not the case. I believe my personality is changing and he doesn't always see things my way and if he doesn't like it he thinks i should change what i think so it will be the same as his. I can't do that, i like the person i am becoming and i am sorry that he is still the same person as he was a year ago. all this probably doesn't make sense to you, but it does me. i don't know what to say to him. I love him and i want to be with him but it seems like he is holding me back and i can't grow to be the person I want to be. it makes me sad. very sad. i need to know that he loves me anyway no matter who i meet, and i dont' want him to be jealous. what can i do to make him see this?
current mood: confused
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003
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3:30 pm
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ok, so everyone knows that i hate chemistry and my chemistry professor. well things are changing, as of now, he is still crazy but he is coming around. We have 2 tests left for the semester and like 3 labs left. I just found out that the next two tests are take home and can be worked on collaboratively. this rocks my socks off. I also found out that there are no more labs. I am essentially done with this class
i am so happy, life is looking brighter
current mood: ecstatic
current music: Wham-Wake me up before you go-go
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9:14 am
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it's 9 o'clock in the morning and already my day sucks! I got up to go to my activity for my health class and i got through the first two stations before I got sick to my stomach. I got really dizzy and i had to puke. so i did, and i feel lots better. but i had to leave my class early i took a shower and now i still have a headache.
I have a two page paper due in my shakespeare class for tomorrow and I also have two tests. chemistry and trig. SUCK I have like 50 questions to do for my chemistry and all the questions pertain nothing to what will be on the test, but the up side to that is the fact that we get 5 bonus points just for doing them. I have to study for the test on top of all that.
I have no energy, it is all drained... where can i find energy?
current mood: drained
current music: bens fold--the luckiest
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2003
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7:48 pm
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Went to O'fallon this weekend with cathy, it was awesome!!!! I loved every minute of it. I got to meet most of the remainder of her friends and I felt like one of them, you all are so great. I also got to see two of my friends from high school and it made the trip complete. there is so much more to say about this weekend, but i am too tire to post on it now. it made me think. I am scared of what it made me think about, maybe more on the later.
current mood: scared
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